i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
