Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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