she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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