I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
