What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
