I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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