I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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