***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
