i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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