did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
