operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We're too hungover to prance.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
