Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
