he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
