Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
