I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
