Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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