Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I understand Curling. That high.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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