he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
