How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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