It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
