Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
