New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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