The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bring me that man meat
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
