Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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