4 words: hood of his car
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
