Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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