I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
