You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
