At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
