im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
