and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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