I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
