The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do vagina's smell?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
