Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
