It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
