if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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