marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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