So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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