You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
