Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
