i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
