You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
