The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
