White coat. Heels.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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