hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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