So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
