If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
