We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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