Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
