Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
