Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
