After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
