all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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