We named our party play list daddy issues
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
